"We Might Be The Worst Team Ever"

"We Might Be The Worst Team Ever" is the season premiere of Sleepy's Amazing Race 5.

Story
Khil Pheoghan kicks off season 5 of Sleepy's Amazing Race with a twist! At the Starting Line, he tells the 11 teams that they must solve a puzzle to reveal where their first destination will be. The last team to complete this puzzle will be given a brand new penalty, the Hazard. No further details about the Hazard are given, but clearly nobody wants to be penalized on the first leg. Additionally, the team that comes in first place this leg will receive the Express Pass, which allows them to skip any one task with no penalty up until the eighth leg of The Race.

Willow and Tad complete the puzzle first and discover that they're traveling to Taipei, Taiwan! They scurry off to the cars outside and make their way to the airport. In the car, there's an automated message telling them that there are two flights leaving forty minutes apart. The first flight can carry 6 teams and the seats are first come first serve, so the teams better hurry to get a spot on that flight.

More and more teams finish the puzzle and head to the airport. It comes down to just Dyce and Amelia and Blue and Fern that are still completing the puzzle. The air is frantic and tense as they know one of them will be penalized. Suddenly, Dyce and Amelia find the solution and get going. Blue and Fern finish not too long after, but are informed that they will be facing the Hazard at some point during the leg.

"Well, this sucks but all we have to do is work extra hard to stay in The Race, and I'm sure we'll make it!"— Blue

The teams scramble to the airport and eventually end up divided between two flights. The first flight carries Arlo and Frederick, Lavender and Casey, Milo and Blaine, Quinn and June, Willow and Tad, and Xander and Duke. The second flight carries Blue and Fern, Dyce and Amelia, Gavin and Reid, Shiloh and Jo, and Victor and Athena.

The first flight touches down in Taipei and the teams all rush to Ximending Commercial District, where they're instructed to "look up" to find their next clue. Teams must figure out that their next clue is on an electronic billboard displaying red and yellow balloons and the text "台北孔廟". Teams must figure out that these are the Chinese characters for the Taipei Confucius Temple, where their next clue is located.

Arlo and Frederick find the clue very quickly and ask a local to translate the text for them. Upon getting the translation, they flag down a taxi and head to the Confucius Temple. Eventually, the other first flight teams start finding the clue... except Lavender and Casey.

"Lavender: We had so much excitement and adrenaline that we, like, totally couldn't think straight! I'm usually very aware of my surroundings I promise!

Casey: I wouldn't have found it either way!"

Meanwhile, Arlo and Frederick reach the Confucius Temple and find their next clue, a Roadblock. This Roadblock requires one team member to perfectly memorize and recite a Confucian saying after hearing it through a telephone. Once the team member is able to recite it word for word to a Confucian monk, they will receive their next clue.

Arlo listens to the saying and messes up on his first time reciting it. The other teams from the first flight, except Lavender and Casey, begin arriving at the Roadblock. After a few attempts, Arlo and Frederick, Xander and Duke, and Quinn and June finish the Roadblock and receive their next clue, directing them to Dajia Riverside Park. Finally, Lavender and Casey spot their clue and begin to head to the Confucius Temple.

The second flight lands and the trailing five teams search for their clue on the billboard. All of them find it relatively quickly, except Blue and Fern, who who wander off in the wrong direction. At the Roadblock, Milo and Blaine, Willow and Tad, and Lavender and Casey receive their next clues.

Xander and Duke are the first to arrive at Dajia Riverside Park and find that they must join a dragon boat racing team and cross the Keelung River to receive their next clue. Arlo and Frederick are only steps behind Xander and Duke, so the two teams embark in a boat race for first place. Xander and Duke, being far more physically fit than Arlo and Frederick, beat them and receive the clue directing them to this leg's Pit Stop at the Martyrs' Shrine.

"Xander: I knew those scrawny little nerds stood no chance beating us at the dragon boat race!

Duke: If those two are our biggest competition, then winning this race will be easier than taking candy from a dying rat!"

The other teams continue through the course slowly making progress. In the middle of the pack, Quinn and June get stuck while dragon boat racing and fall behind the teams around them, but are far enough ahead of the trailing teams that they're not really in danger of elimination.

At the Pit Stop, Xander and Duke are the first team to arrive! They receive the Express Pass for their victory.

''"We were already confident in our ability to dominate and win, but with this Express Pass we'll be absolutely unstoppable." -'' Duke

Arlo and Frederick are right behind Xander and Duke and finish in second place!

"''We may have fallen slightly behind today, but we deciphered the clues faster than any other team so I'm sure we'll be sticking around for a while." -'' Frederick

Most teams are steadily progressing toward the Pit Stop except three: Shiloh and Jo, who got lost after the Roadblock looking for Dajia Riverside Park, Victor and Athena, who are struggling to complete the Roadblock on behalf of Victor, and Blue and Fern who still haVEN'T FOUND THE VERY FIRST CLUE AND ALSO STILL HAVE A HAZARD TO ENCOUNTER AT SOME POINT.

Lavender and Casey take third and talk about how much fun they're having, Milo and Blaine take fourth and discuss how surprised they are that they've been working together well, and Dyce and Amelia are dubbed the season's most chaotic team by Khil as they check into the Pit Stop in 5th place.

Victor realizes what mistake they were making at the Roadblock and completes it, allowing their team to catch up with Shiloh and Jo and reach the dragon boat racing at the same time. Both teams think they're fighting for last place and go all out to beat each other. Victor and Athena, being younger and more interested in fitness than Shiloh and Jo, finish first and beat the dating couple to the Pit Stop. Khil greets both teams, of which Victor and Athena look relieved and Shiloh and Jo look hopeful but defeated.

"Khil: Victor and Athena... you are team number 9, which makes you, Shiloh and Jo, team number 10." Both teams jump and celebrate and hug each other.

"Victor: I'm honestly very surprised at how much Athena and I struggled with this leg, but we'll just keep trying our hardest and I know we can make it to the end and win!

Athena: ''I'm glad that Shiloh and Jo got to stay in too because I felt a little bit bad beating them. Ultimately, we did what we thought we had to do to stay in The Race and that includes beating even the nicest teams at one point or another.''

"Shiloh: I'm sure Victor and Athena are nice people and I'm not at all mad at either of them for beating us. I'm just happy to still be racing with the woman I love."

Alllll the way back at the beginning of the leg, Blue and Fern have wandered far and wide looking for their first clue and still managed not to find it until after every other team already finished the entire leg. Slowly but surely, they make their way through the rest of the leg, including their Hazard penalty that didn't end up mattering at all but involved them bungee jumping. Eventually, they reach the Pit Stop.

"Khil: Blue and Fern, you are the last team to arrive... and I'm sorry to tell you that you have both been eliminated from The Amazing Race." Blue and Fern wince at the news but nod their heads.

Blue: "Even though we kinda sucked, I'm still happy to have had the day I had and to have been a part of The Race."

Route Markers
Starting Line: The race begins at in Hsi Lai Temple in Hacienda Heights, California, United States.

Route Info 1: Teams must search through hundreds of oil-paper umbrellas for one with the correct set of letters ("TAI") that, when combined twice to six other letters ("WANPEI"), would reveal their first destination, Taipei, Taiwan, and present the correct umbrella to host Khil Pheoghan. If correct, he will give them keys to one of 11 cars parked outside the temple, inside which they would find their first clue. The last team to complete the task will be penalized with the Hazard.

The order when teams found their umbrella are as follows:


 * 1) Willow and Tad
 * 2) Xander and Duke
 * 3) Lavender and Casey
 * 4) Milo and Blaine
 * 5) Arlo and Frederick
 * 6) Quinn and June
 * 7) Gavin and Reid
 * 8) Shiloh and Jo
 * 9) Victor and Athena
 * 10) Dyce and Amelia
 * 11) Blue and Fern

For coming in last place, Blue and Fern were penalized with the Hazard.

Route Info 2: Teams must fly to Taipei, Taiwan. The first flight could carry eight teams and departs 40 minutes ahead of the second flight. Upon arrival, teams must take a bus to the Ximending Commercial District, where teams were instructed to "look up", leaving them to figure out that their next clue was written on an electronic billboard with yellow and red balloons on the screen. On the billboard was the name their next destination, the Taipei Confucius Temple, written in Chinese characters (台北孔廟).

Roadblock: "Confucius says, "Who's ready to play telephone?""

The team member assigned to perform this Roadblock must locate a nearby payphone on the temple grounds, which they must use to call a particular phone number. The person on the other end would then give them one of Confucius' proverbs, "In all things success depends on previous preparation, and without such previous preparation there is sure to be failure." Without writing down the proverb, they must then repeat it verbatim to a temple monk to receive their next clue. If they are incorrect, they must call the number again to make another attempt.

The Roadblock performers per team are underlined:


 * Arlo and Frederick
 * Blue and Fern
 * Dyce and Amelia
 * Gavin and Reid
 * Lavender and Casey
 * Milo and Blaine
 * Quinn and June
 * Shiloh and Jo
 * Victor and Athena
 * Willow and Tad
 * Xander and Duke

Hazard: After completing the Roadblock at Taipei Confucius Temple, Blue and Fern would receive their clue for their Hazard. Blue and Fern must take a taxi to the Core Pacific City Mall, where one team member must perform an indoor bungee jump from the eleventh floor before being allowed to continue. Blue performed this task.

Route Info 3: Teams must take a taxi to Dajia Riverside Park and search under the bridge to find their next clue.

Route Info 4: Teams must join a dragon boat race team, with one team member keeping pace by beating a drum, while the other team member joined the paddling crew. Once they have completed a course along the Keelung River, they would receive their next clue.

Route Info 5 and Pit Stop: Teams must take a taxi to the Martyrs' Shrine to check in.

For coming in first place, Xander and Duke won the Express Pass.

Trivia

 * The episode title is said by Fern Aisling.